笑话一般比较短小,喜剧性很强,普遍存在于人们的日常生活中。笑话的娱乐作用可以减轻人的心理压力,促进身体健康。小编精心收集了爆笑英语笑话，供大家欣赏学习!
爆笑英语笑话篇1
轻而易举
Stepping from my kitchen into the garage, I accidentally locked myself out of the house. When I tried to persuade my 18-month-old son，Taylor, to open the door, none of my tactics worked. Finally，I walked around the house to check for an open window. To my amazement，I found the front door open and Taylor standing there with a salesman.
出了厨房我便走进了车库，不留神把门锁给撞上了，把我自己锁在了门外。我那18个月的儿子泰勒在屋里。于走，我在外边千方百计地想让他帮我开门，结果均告失败。最后，我围着房子想找个开着的窗子。令我吃惊的是，前门开着，我的儿子站在门口正与一个推销员在谈话。
"Ive been locked out for 20 minutes,"I said. "How did you get him to open the door?"
我对那推销员说:【我被锁在了外边20多分钟，你是怎样让他给你开门的】。
Looking puzzled，the man replied，【I rang the doorbell."
面带惊奇的推销员答说:【我只按了一下门铃。】
爆笑英语笑话篇2
训兽童
A boy of about ten was sitting on a city bus with a briefcase on his lap. Periodically the youngster would whisper into his coat. A woman passenger caught his eye with a quizzical look and，in response，the boy produced a small white mouse from his shirt pocket.】Hes just a baby."explained the youngster. "His parents are in here. "Opening his briefcase，he brought forth a pair of slightly Larger. white mice from among a dozen or so that scurried around inside. By this time several other passengers had formed an audience, and the boy patiently explained his interest in mice，how to take care of them, their eating habits, their different personalities and so on.
一位十岁的男孩腿上放着会文箱，正坐在一辆城市公共汽车上。这个孩子不断地对着他衣服小声嘟嚷。一位女乘客从这个男孩的眼神里看到一种疑感。紧接着这个小男孩从他的衬衣兜里拿出一只小白鼠，并解绎说:【这是个鼠息子。他的父母也在这里。】打开他的手提箱，他从大约有十几个的白鼠中挑出一对稍大的。这时其他的乘客也围了过来。小男孩耐心地讲着他对白鼠的兴趣，怎样照顾它们，它们的饮食习惯及不同的特性。
As the bus pulled up to his stop，the boy slipped the mice back into his briefcase and rose to leave his rapt audience. Starting down the steps，he turned back for a moment.
待车在汽车站停下时，小男孩把小白鼠放回到手提箱，站起来，离开了这些着了迷的观众。他下车时转过身对大家说:【这些是用来喂我助蛇的。】说着，他就消失了。
"They are for my snake. "he said and disappeared out of the door.
爆笑英语笑话篇3
漫无边际的菜单
A man dirning with a friend explained the peculiarities of the restaurant they were in:"The waiters never admit they dont have something. Theyll take your order. for a slice of sun and too away as if they mean to get it...then theyll come back and say they just ran out.】
一位和朋友吃饭的男士解释他们在饭馆里吃饭的怪现象时说:【服务员从未承认过他们没有什么莱。假如你想要一份太阳，他们也会拿着菜单离去，好像真能给你弄来似的。然后，他们回来说这道菜刚卖完。】为了证明这一点，我说:【请来一份恐龙。】
To prove his point，he said to the waiter,【The dinosaur，please.】
【好的，先生，】服务员回答说:【您要的恐龙是做得嫩点还是老点儿的?】
【Yes，sir，【answered the waiter.】And how would you like it cooked?"
【老点儿的。】
"Well done!"
服务员离开了，又很快回来了。【对不起，先生，我们的恐龙菜刚卖完。】
The waiter left and returned quickly.【Im sorry, sir，but weve just run out of a dinosaur.】
【什么?】顾客气愤地说:【没有恐龙?】
" What?" said the diner with feigned disappointment."No dinosaur?"
那服务员低声地说:【我们的确还剩一些。】他显得作常自信的样子。【但恐龙肉有点儿不太鲜了，所以我们还是不给您上这道菜的好。】
The waiter lowered his voice. "Well，we do have some left，【he whispered confidentially,"...but its not very fresh and I wont serve it!】
标签：爆笑,笑话
